ALDA Chicago Is 20

Yesterday night Karina and I attended our first ALDA-Chicago event in 15 or 16 years: the 20th birthday party of the chapter. It was held in the southwest suburbs of Chicago, about 60 miles from my Cary exurb to the northwest. That meant making a Grand Prix drive on Chicago tollways on a Saturday evening, when all good drivers are bunkered safely in their homes. That leaves only drunk or stoned drivers, or just plain bad drivers, like me. So I guess I really wanted to go.

And I'm glad I did. I only knew about a quarter of the people there, but it was great to feel their warmth again. And I enjoyed meeting folks who were "new" to me, although a lot of them had been involved with ALDA since the mid or late 1990's. Before leaving home, I crammed on the most recent issue of ALDA-Chicago News--full of photos--so I wouldn't completely flunk the who's who test. It didn't help much. My memory is only a fraction now of what it used to be, and I failed miserably connecting faces with the names in the newsletter. And if there was another party tonight, I'd probably fail again. This getting older stuff is overrated.

I was asked to say a few words. Historically, I bumble horribly through speeches if I don't write them out ahead of time. Nobody's ever needed a teleprompter more than me. Since this was an impromptu gig, I was tempted to apologize before I started and encourage people to use my time for a restroom visit or a smoke outside. But things went pretty well and the people who were still awake applauded at the end.

In the car driving home, Karina and I did the ritual "Well, what do you think?" Although I'm a persnickety editor by profession who believes that nothing is good unless it's perfect, I admitted to my wife that I had a very nice time. And my objective observations after 15 years away? Two things stuck out: (1) the average age of ALDA Chicagoans is older than it used to be, and (2) very few people now use sign language.

"Back in my day" you could count on one hand the people over 60. Most members of ALDA Chicago then were in the 35 to 50 age range. Yesterday there was a lot more gray hair and less hair, and I'll venture that the overall age range has advanced 15 years or so, about the same amount of time I had been away. I like having younger people around; they often have more energy and wilder ideas than older people, oui? Without energy and big ideas organizations start to sputter. ALDA needs young people to do the fancy Grand Prix driving. They karaoke pretty good, too.

My second observation--that few people signed--was hard on my eyes. I am, on good nights, a lousy lipreader. I move closer and squint, lean nearer and squint some more. Looks like I'm sucking a lemon. And this ALDA group was pretty citrus. A high percentage of ALDA people Chicagoans now have cochlear implants. Most of them seem to hear very well (or they bluff very well), even at last night's noisy party. I myself now have two implants, and I hear better than when I was implantless of course; nevertheless, I would have died for more signing at the party.

But not any kind of signing--not the good kind. Only the kind that Kathryn Woodcock, Ph.D., an impeccably erudite Canadian ALDAn, calls Classic ALDA Crappy Sign. I am passionate about ALDA Crappy Sign because it accomplishes two things: It helps me understand a person better because it S-L-O-W-S the person down. Few ALDAns can talk and sign fast at the same time. One of my primary problems with reading lips is that the lips go too fast, just like my problem with people who know ASL from childhood is that their hands go too fast. And as I get older, even with dual implants, it's mostly citrus and so I squint, squint, and squint some more.

The other great thing about Crappy Sign is that it's unique to ALDA: You just can't use it anywhere else in the world without shame. ALDA IS A GREAT PLACE TO PRACTICE CRAPPY SIGN!! (There, I feel better.) And signing badly together can be a lot of fun, just like singing badly at karaoke can be a blast. But there wasn't much Crappy Sign at the ALDA birthday party. Crap.

I had a good time at the party anyway. I just need a few days or so for my eyes to recover.